San Francisco
How the San Francisco group works, and what we search there.
See the San Francisco page →Are We Dating The Same Guy · San Jose
Are you in the San Jose group?
The San Jose “Are We Dating The Same Guy” group is private and women-only, so you can’t look for yourself. We search it for you, along with the groups around it, and email you a written report within 24 hours.
California Result in 24 hours
Largest group in Facebook search: Are We Dating The Same Guy? | San Jose / Fremont / Mountain View · about 28K members
The San Jose group
(01)“Are We Dating The Same Guy” is a network of private Facebook groups, each one tied to a city or region. Women join the group for where they live, post a photo or a screenshot of a man they’ve met or matched with, and ask whether anyone else knows him. Here is how that works in San Jose.
A South Bay group stretched along the valley
The group most men here need to know about is “Are We Dating The Same Guy? | San Jose / Fremont / Mountain View,” with about 28,000 members. It is smaller than the groups in some big cities, but its name covers a lot of ground: San Jose itself, Fremont at the southern end of the East Bay, and Mountain View up toward the Peninsula. A smaller group can also mean each post gets read closely by people who know the same places you do.
Campuses, long hours and dating in the gaps
Silicon Valley’s tech campuses are spread across Mountain View, Sunnyvale, Santa Clara, Cupertino and north San Jose. Many people here work long hours, travel for work or answer messages late at night, and dating gets squeezed into whatever time is left. Apps do much of the early work, and a first date might be a quick dinner near the office rather than a planned night out.
When dating runs that way, people often know each other only through a profile and a couple of conversations. That is one reason posts in the South Bay tend to rely on screenshots and photos rather than a full name.
Santana Row, Willow Glen and downtown
Evenings out tend to cluster in a few places. Santana Row draws people from across the South Bay for dinner and drinks, downtown San Jose fills up around game nights and concerts, and Willow Glen has a quieter main street that suits a first or second date. San Jose State keeps a student crowd downtown as well.
Fremont sits on the other side of the bay’s southern tip, and many people who live there date in San Jose or along the Peninsula. Caltrain links San Jose with San Francisco, so a man who lives in the South Bay and goes out in the city, or the other way around, can turn up in groups at both ends of the line.
Where a South Bay check begins and ends
We open with the San Jose, Fremont and Mountain View group, then move to the surrounding groups that someone posting about a South Bay man would be likely to use: San Francisco and the Peninsula, the East Bay, and the California-wide groups. The photos you upload are what we search with, alongside the names you give us. If you moved here for a job and dated somewhere else first, list that city when you order and it goes into the search.
Out of your head and into writing
When you are busy, a nagging question can take up more room than it deserves. A written report tells you plainly what is there, if anything, and lets you put the question down and get back to your day.
Why you can’t check it yourself
(02)01
It’s women-only
Admins screen people before they’re let in, and men are turned away. There is no visitor view and no way to browse from outside.
02
Nothing is public
Posts don’t show up on Google or in Facebook search outside the group. If you’re in a post, it exists only for the people inside.
03
Asking around tells people
Getting a friend to look means telling her why. Most men would rather not, and one person scrolling a busy group can easily miss a post.
What we search for San Jose
(03)- The main San Jose groupThen the groups around it, because posts are often shared on from one group to the next.
- Groups covering San Francisco and the Peninsula
- Groups covering the East Bay
- California-wide groups
- The Are We Dating The Same Guy appThe network now has its own app. We search that too.
How we search
By your first name and age, by the photos you upload, and by any dating app handles or nicknames you give us. Photos matter most: many posts are just a screenshot of a profile with no name attached.
What you get back
A written report by email. If something is there, you get a direct link to the post, screenshots, the date it went up, and how much attention it has had. If nothing is there, we say so plainly and list everywhere we looked.
The Tea app in San Jose
(04)Tea is the other place men get posted, and it works differently from the groups. It’s one app for the whole country rather than a group per city, but every post is filed under a location. A post about you will usually sit under San Jose, or under wherever she was when she wrote it.
Like the groups, Tea is women-only and identity-verified, so you can’t see it yourself. A Group Check doesn’t include Tea. If you want both searched, the Full Check covers Tea, the groups and your photos in one report.
Group Check · San Jose
Know for certain.
A researcher searches the groups by hand and sends you a plain yes or no, with the evidence if there is any. We never post, comment or contact anyone, and nobody can see that you searched.
San Jose questions
(05)I live in Fremont. Should I be looking at East Bay groups instead?
Both are worth searching. The main South Bay group includes Fremont in its name, and women in Fremont often join East Bay groups as well. We check the San Jose group first and then the East Bay ones.
I take Caltrain up to San Francisco and date there too. Is that covered?
Yes. Men who split their time between the South Bay and the city often appear in groups at either end, so we include the San Francisco and Peninsula groups in a San Jose check.
I’ve only been using the apps for a few weeks. Is it too early to check?
Not necessarily. A post can follow a single date, or even a conversation that never became one. If something specific has you wondering, a check will tell you where things stand now.
Nearby cities
All cities →Sacramento
How the Sacramento group works, and what we search there.
See the Sacramento page →Los Angeles
How the Los Angeles group works, and what we search there.
See the Los Angeles page →Orange County
How the Orange County group works, and what we search there.
See the Orange County page →Las Vegas
How the Las Vegas group works, and what we search there.
See the Las Vegas page →Not sure which group you’d be in? The Group Check covers wherever you live and date, listed here or not.
