Jersey City
How the Jersey City group works, and what we search there.
See the Jersey City page →Are We Dating The Same Guy · New York
Are you in the New York group?
The New York “Are We Dating The Same Guy” group is private and women-only, so you can’t look for yourself. We search it for you, along with the groups around it, and email you a written report within 24 hours.
New York Result in 24 hours
The New York group
(01)“Are We Dating The Same Guy” is a network of private Facebook groups, each one tied to a city or region. Women join the group for where they live, post a photo or a screenshot of a man they’ve met or matched with, and ask whether anyone else knows him. Here is how that works in New York.
Where the network began
The first Are We Dating The Same Guy group was started in New York in 2022, and the idea spread from there to cities around the world. The original group grew into one of the largest in the network, and it doesn’t show up in Facebook search, so what most men find instead is a group labeled as its backup and smaller groups for individual boroughs. However the posts are split, a big audience changes how a post behaves. More women see it, more of them comment, and it’s more likely someone recognizes the face.
Five boroughs, one dating pool
Dating apps don’t care about borough lines. A man in Astoria can match with women in Williamsburg, the Upper West Side and Jersey City in the same evening. Because the New York group covers the whole city, a post about a date in Brooklyn is read by women in Manhattan, Queens and the Bronx alike, and by commuters who live across the Hudson.
More than one group to search
In a metro this size, one group isn’t the whole picture. Women in New Jersey, on Long Island, in Westchester and up the Hudson Valley have groups of their own, and posts move between them, especially when a man commutes into the city or dates on both sides of a bridge. If you live in one place and work or date in another, you could be posted in either.
That’s why a New York Group Check doesn’t stop at the main group. We search it first, then the surrounding groups where a post about you would realistically appear. If you’ve spent time somewhere else recently, say so on the order form and we’ll include it.
What New York posts tend to look like
Posts in big-city groups are often short: a screenshot of a profile and a question like “anyone know him?” There may be no name at all, just photos and a rough age. That’s why we ask for the pictures you actually use on dating apps. They’re the ones most likely to have been screenshotted, and the ones we search with.
Keeping it to yourself
In a city where you can run into a mutual friend anywhere, asking around carries its own risk. A check keeps it between you and us. We never post, comment or contact anyone, and nothing about your order is visible to the group.
Why you can’t check it yourself
(02)01
It’s women-only
Admins screen people before they’re let in, and men are turned away. There is no visitor view and no way to browse from outside.
02
Nothing is public
Posts don’t show up on Google or in Facebook search outside the group. If you’re in a post, it exists only for the people inside.
03
Asking around tells people
Getting a friend to look means telling her why. Most men would rather not, and one person scrolling a busy group can easily miss a post.
What we search for New York
(03)- The main New York groupThen the groups around it, because posts are often shared on from one group to the next.
- Groups covering New Jersey
- Groups covering Long Island and Westchester
- New York State groups
- The Are We Dating The Same Guy appThe network now has its own app. We search that too.
How we search
By your first name and age, by the photos you upload, and by any dating app handles or nicknames you give us. Photos matter most: many posts are just a screenshot of a profile with no name attached.
What you get back
A written report by email. If something is there, you get a direct link to the post, screenshots, the date it went up, and how much attention it has had. If nothing is there, we say so plainly and list everywhere we looked.
The Tea app in New York
(04)Tea is the other place men get posted, and it works differently from the groups. It’s one app for the whole country rather than a group per city, but every post is filed under a location. A post about you will usually sit under New York, or under wherever she was when she wrote it.
Like the groups, Tea is women-only and identity-verified, so you can’t see it yourself. A Group Check doesn’t include Tea. If you want both searched, the Full Check covers Tea, the groups and your photos in one report.
Group Check · New York
Know for certain.
A researcher searches the groups by hand and sends you a plain yes or no, with the evidence if there is any. We never post, comment or contact anyone, and nobody can see that you searched.
New York questions
(05)I live in New Jersey but date in the city. Which group would I be in?
Either, or both. Posts go in the group for where the woman lives, and they’re often shared into others. We search the main New York group and the groups around it, including New Jersey, so you’re covered either way.
The New York group is huge. How do you find one post?
We don’t scroll and hope. We search by your name, nicknames and handles, and with the photos you send us. A big group takes longer to search properly, which is why the Group Check takes 24 hours.
Will anyone in the group know I asked?
No. We never post, comment or message anyone, and your order isn’t visible to the group or its admins.
Nearby cities
All cities →Stamford
How the Stamford group works, and what we search there.
See the Stamford page →Long Island
How the Long Island group works, and what we search there.
See the Long Island page →New Haven
How the New Haven group works, and what we search there.
See the New Haven page →Philadelphia
How the Philadelphia group works, and what we search there.
See the Philadelphia page →Not sure which group you’d be in? The Group Check covers wherever you live and date, listed here or not.
