Are you in the Jersey City group?

“Are We Dating The Same Guy” is a network of private Facebook groups, each one tied to a city or region. Women join the group for where they live, post a photo or a screenshot of a man they’ve met or matched with, and ask whether anyone else knows him. Here is how that works in Jersey City.

A short ride from Manhattan

Jersey City and Hoboken sit directly across the Hudson from Manhattan, and dating here works as if the river barely exists. The PATH runs from Journal Square, Grove Street and Hoboken into Lower Manhattan and up Sixth Avenue, and ferries cross from the waterfront to Midtown and the Financial District. A first date in the West Village and a second one on Washington Street in Hoboken is completely ordinary.

The Gold Coast and who lives there

Much of the Hudson waterfront, from Jersey City up through Hoboken, Weehawken and Edgewater, is lived in by people fairly new to the area. Many work in finance or tech, either in Manhattan or in the towers around Exchange Place, and they moved here for the commute. That makes the waterfront younger and more mobile than much of the state. People date widely, often with no mutual friends, and a woman unsure about a match may know little beyond what was on his profile and the photos he chose.

Downtown JC, Hoboken and the city groups

The main group covers Jersey City, Hoboken and New Jersey more broadly, with about 44,000 members. Around Grove Street, Paulus Hook and Newport, and along Hoboken’s main strip, it’s one of the first places a woman here will ask about a man. But because so many people on this side of the river date in Manhattan as often as at home, the New York City groups matter just as much. A woman in the East Village who met a man from downtown Jersey City is more likely to post in her own group than in his.

North Jersey and the move west

Further inland, a separate North Jersey group of about 13,000 members covers places like Morristown and Essex County, including towns such as Montclair and Maplewood. A lot of people who start out on the waterfront move west a few years later, for more space or a yard, and some keep dating across both areas for a while. A man who lived in Hoboken and now lives in Morristown could plausibly appear in either group.

Covering both sides of the river

For a man in Jersey City or Hoboken, we start with the main group, then the North Jersey group, the New York City groups and the New Jersey-wide groups, following the routes a post from here most often takes. If you’ve lived in another city or date somewhere else on weekends, tell us when you order and we’ll fold it into the search.

That way you’re dealing with what’s really there, not the version you’ve been picturing on the way home.