Are you in the Oklahoma City group?

“Are We Dating The Same Guy” is a network of private Facebook groups, each one tied to a city or region. Women join the group for where they live, post a photo or a screenshot of a man they’ve met or matched with, and ask whether anyone else knows him. Here is how that works in Oklahoma City.

Smaller groups and a statewide spread

Search Facebook for an Oklahoma City group and no single large one comes up. Smaller statewide Oklahoma groups exist alongside the groups covering the city, and a post about an Oklahoma City man can turn up in either. A man checking for himself has to know about all of them, then look through each one.

Statewide groups also mean a post can be read by women well outside the metro, in Tulsa, Norman or smaller towns across the state. A woman who moved from Lawton to the city, or from the city to Tulsa, often stays in the groups she joined before, so older posts can keep finding new readers.

Bricktown, Midtown and the Plaza District

Nights out in the city tend to center on a few areas. Bricktown, with its canal, bars and restaurants, draws a mixed crowd and visitors from out of town. Midtown has quieter restaurants and bars that suit a first date, and the Plaza District has a smaller, independent feel, with shops, bars and coffee. The streetcar connects downtown, Bricktown and Midtown.

Most people still drive. The metro spreads out across suburbs like Yukon, Mustang and Moore, and the apps comfortably reach all of them from almost anywhere in the city.

Edmond, Norman and the student years

Edmond, just north of the city, is home to the University of Central Oklahoma and a lot of young professionals. Norman, to the south, is home to the University of Oklahoma, and football weekends bring crowds from across the state. Students date between campus and the city, and graduates who settle in Oklahoma City often keep dating people they met in Norman or Edmond.

Tinker, shift work and the drive to Tulsa

Tinker Air Force Base, on the southeast side of the metro, brings service members and civilian workers, many on shifts that don’t fit a usual dating schedule. People arrive on orders and move on, and a man who dated here can still come up after he has left. Tulsa is a drive northeast on the turnpike, and some people date between the two cities.

For an Oklahoma City check, we start with the groups covering the city and then move through the ones a post might also land in: Edmond and Norman, Tulsa, and the Oklahoma-wide groups. The photos you upload come first in the search, with any names you give us after. If you have been stationed elsewhere or lived in another state, list it with your order and we’ll look there as well.

Hearing it straight

A question you keep turning over tends to grow the longer it goes unanswered. The report tells you what is there, if anything, so whatever you decide next, you decide it with the facts in front of you.