Are you in the Hartford group?

“Are We Dating The Same Guy” is a network of private Facebook groups, each one tied to a city or region. Women join the group for where they live, post a photo or a screenshot of a man they’ve met or matched with, and ask whether anyone else knows him. Here is how that works in Hartford.

Hartford, Middletown and the rest of the state

The Hartford group’s name starts with two cities and then widens to Connecticut as a whole. With about 47,000 members, it’s bigger than the separate groups for New Haven and Fairfield County, which have about 24,000 and 26,000. Women from all over central Connecticut join it, and because of that statewide name, some from further afield do too. For a man here, it’s the obvious first place to look, but rarely the only one. A group this size also means older posts can resurface when new members join and start commenting.

Insurance offices and steady routines

Hartford has long been known as the insurance capital, and insurers, hospitals and state government still employ a lot of the region. That workforce keeps regular hours and tends to settle in the suburbs: West Hartford, Glastonbury, Wethersfield, Simsbury. Many people commute downtown during the day and date closer to home in the evenings. West Hartford Center and Blue Back Square see a lot of first dates, and people who work in the same industry can find their circles crossing more than they expect.

Middletown, Wesleyan and the river towns

Down the Connecticut River, Middletown has Wesleyan and a long Main Street with plenty of places to meet. Students, faculty and the people who work around the campus all add to the group. Middletown also sits between Hartford and New Haven, so people who live there can drift into either city’s dating pool. Plenty of younger professionals choose it for exactly that reason, since it’s within a reasonable drive of both, and a post about a Middletown man could appear in the New Haven group as easily as the Hartford one.

Where I-84 and I-91 meet

Hartford is a crossroads. I-84 runs west toward Waterbury and Danbury and east toward Massachusetts, and I-91 runs south to New Haven and north to Springfield. Springfield is close enough that people commute and date across the state line, so a post about a man from Enfield or Windsor Locks could turn up in a Western Massachusetts group. In a state this compact, an ordinary dating radius covers a lot of ground.

How we work through Connecticut

We start with the Hartford / Middletown / Connecticut group, then check the New Haven and Fairfield County groups and the groups covering Springfield, which are where a post about a Hartford-area man would be most likely to travel. If you went to school elsewhere in New England or have lived in another state, include it on your order and we’ll add those groups.

You end up with a plain answer, and what you do with it is your call.