Are you in the Detroit group?

“Are We Dating The Same Guy” is a network of private Facebook groups, each one tied to a city or region. Women join the group for where they live, post a photo or a screenshot of a man they’ve met or matched with, and ask whether anyone else knows him. Here is how that works in Detroit.

A group named for a whole state

The Detroit group’s full name takes in Ann Arbor and the rest of Michigan, and its membership, about 35,000 people, reflects that wider reach. It isn’t only a city group. Women from the suburbs, from Ann Arbor and from further across the state use it, which makes sense in a place where most people’s dating lives already stretch well past any one city.

A metro built around the car

Metro Detroit is spread out, and almost everyone drives. Dates happen downtown, in Midtown and Corktown, along Woodward Avenue and out in the suburbs, with I-75, I-94 and I-696 connecting it all. A man in Troy might drive to Ferndale on a Friday and to Dearborn the next weekend without thinking twice about it.

Those distances shape how people check on each other. Social circles here are spread over a large area, so a woman who meets someone through an app often has nobody local to ask about him. The group fills that gap, and because it covers the whole state, a post can reach women who live a long drive from where the date happened.

The suburbs and their own scenes

Royal Oak and Ferndale have busy restaurant and bar strips and a younger crowd. Troy and Birmingham lean more toward established professionals. Dearborn, just west of the city, has a social life of its own, and Macomb County, with Sterling Heights, Warren and the towns along Lake St. Clair, draws its own dating pool. The Oakland and Macomb County suburbs have groups of their own, and women there often belong to the main group as well. A man who lives in one suburb and dates in three others can easily appear in more than one of these groups at once.

Ann Arbor and across the river

Ann Arbor, home to the University of Michigan, is less than an hour west of Detroit, and plenty of people date between the two. Students, graduate students, hospital staff and young professionals move back and forth all the time. To the south, Windsor sits just across the Detroit River in Canada, reached by bridge or tunnel, and some people date on both sides of the border.

Where a Detroit search goes

We start with the main Detroit / Ann Arbor / Michigan group and then search the groups that women in the same dating pool also use: those covering Ann Arbor, the Oakland and Macomb County suburbs, and the Michigan-wide groups. If you’ve spent time in Windsor, Grand Rapids, Lansing or out of state, note it on the order form and we’ll cover it too. A written answer means you’re working from what is actually there, not from what someone told you.